Ok, I didn't really have a fourth child but WOW has the last 4 months made me feel like I had him all his life. We had taken him for visits here and there before he was placed with us and we knew something wasn't right but WOW, I feel like the kid jumped me in a dark alley.
His story-
He is my nephew from my half sister on my mother's side. We kind of grew up together but our childhood was really crappy and growing up together means we stayed in touch over the years. I'll go into that story a little deeper when I have time cry.
Anyways, he is my nephew and was removed from my sister's care at 6 weeks old with his 4 older sisters. I offered to take all the kids when we lived in a larger home but the social worker, who really didn't do her job, told me no. I didn't fight it because frankly I was fairly busy with my own 3 little punks. Over the last year and a half we took the baby a few times for visits and major holidays. He always had a bottle that had a huge hole in the nipple so they could feed him cereal through it. I am NOT the type to feed a baby cereal in a bottle so I endured the screaming that ensued when we attempted to feed him a regular bottle and spoon the cereal. Can you imagine a 9 month old sucking cereal through a hole? I can't and won't stand for it, not in my care.
About 6 months ago I was informed that the kids were all being placed with family and no one had stepped up to take him. I took him after going back and forth a few times.... It is a big decision and my marriage was not at it's finest at that point. I guess this made us get over the small garbage and rethink our priorities. After having numerous people parade through my house we ended up with a fourth boy. I was excited and hopeful we would be able to help him. He was non-verbal at 2 and threw fits like you wouldn't believe. Imagine a possessed pig being branded. I can't explain it, it's disturbing. He threw things and ripped his sheets off his bed. Then the clothes would come off and he peed on our bed.(his crib is at the foot of our bed) It was so many times a day I had to put him in his crib and just close the door. Such a sad baby and I couldn't fix it.... In the last 4 months he has been evaluated and given speech therapy along with Infant Mental Health Therapy. He is slowly making progress and smiles so much more. I worry though, he has made progress then goes through a stage where he has to throw fits. I have spent so much time trying to keep him happy and content but when he is on the rampage, there is no stopping his screaming. I love him but have come to the conclusion I can no longer do it. I am defeated and have to allow him to go to another home that can give him the attention and care I can not give with Adam being part of the picture. I am happy that he has services and I hope he comes out of it in a better place. He is the sweetest little guy and deserves the world. Our worlds just are not meant to be. I have learned that I can't save the world and I have to just stand up for myself. This one little guy has shown me how strong I am and how much is too much. I now know my limits and my limits will be respected by me.
Monday, July 19, 2010
Sunday, July 18, 2010
Fairly Lost Child
Starting our day yesterday we weren't sure where we were headed for the day but quickly decided it was Fair Day! I had already purchased the kids wristbands and I won season passes for Aaron and I so we were set! Now to find someone to take the little punk... Nessa! She is my saving grace many times. We loaded the kids up and Aaron noticed a child wandering around in the grass outside our door. Weird to situation to run into. We though his parents may be coming around the corner but alas no one came. He started wandering off so Aaron went to see if someone was looking for him and no one was. How scary for this cute little blue eyed baby boy. He had to be 3. I couldn't see my self allowing him to just wander around alone so we took him to the management office and made sure he was ok before we proceeded to our destination. Still no word on the child but we definitely will check on Monday to make sure he found his mommy; poor little guy.
We got the little punk situated and went on our way. We figured out on the way there that we had to go to the main entrance. OH That is what we avoid but OK! We sucked it up and hopped the trolley to get our season passes. Went in and started on our way! It was amazingly crowd free for a Saturday. We rode a few rides, used the bathroom a few times, ate lunch, had ice cream, used the bathroom a few more times (my kids have itty bitty bladders). I will post pictures of the events at a later time but the ice cream incident had people walking by laughing. Imagine, if you will, my 5 year old with a chocolate dipped lopsided ice cream cone. He had it EVERYWHERE! The man of the house tried to keep it kept up by eating it but ended up with lots of it on his foot. HAHA, he was making a bigger mess than the 5 year old was. I was laughing so I forgave the strangers for finding it a sight laughable; I think I was giggling too hard to say anything anyways.
We enjoyed our lunch before ice cream too. The boys had pizza. Ok, we are at the fair and you are going to have a meal you eat whenever I am feeling lazy. Lovely! The man and I had Mexican bowls and roasted corn. the bowls were ehhh, but the corn was wonderful as usual. Our favorite snack at the fair is deep fried snickers. We had it for the first time 4 or 5 years ago and will share one every chance we get! It is deep fried yummy goodness. Imagine biting into a doughnut and having chocolate, nuts and caramel all creamy and gooey smothering your mouth. I can't help but drool thinking about it. The boys had deep fried oreos, they shared a serving because, WOW, they were really sweet. We had great lemonade and lots of water. It was SO hot. I believe it got up to 99 degrees; this is fine because it was supposed to be 105 degrees. I'll take 99 any day over that.
Our first attraction, after food and potty, were the dinosaurs! ROAR! Dinosaurs were insanely awesome! Do people still use that word? I am so happy that none of the boys were afraid of the Dino's. We went to Disneyland last year and the dinosaurs kept us from riding the train more than once. My boys are not manly men but maybe this Christmas we'll get to partake in the train a few times! After the Dinosaurs we ran into a giant robot man. I'm not sure what he was called but he was so cool! Ok, another word I'm not people use anymore but forgive my lack of know what's in; three boys keep me busy not having a life. The boys and the man pulled me away from the giant robot and his giant scooter to hit the county exhibits. The boys seem less than interested in them because this year they weren't as good. I'm sure the state of the economy has something to do with it but they were ok. They did get cool bead necklaces from a nice lady at a Solono County exhibit. I didn't notice until too late that they were Casino beads. HAHA, My kids are billboards for a Casino, lovely. I win parent of the year! yay! We really had fun just wandering around. We visited the woods to get Papa his yearly sapling and visit the bugs in the bug building. The boys saw baby cows and pigs. Baby pigs are the cutest pink fatties. I wanted to pick one up and play with his little pink nose. This is about when Adam decided that his reason for going to the fair needed to be addressed. After a few more potty visits we headed over to the commercial building. Can you imagine 2 buildings full of living infomercials? I can because that's what this is. You can get anything from Protek to Egyptian Cotton Sheets. Want a ShamWOW you got it! I wanted a Shamwow but my Adam was on a mission to hit that Japanese Anime booth. He was a commando. We found it and he got his Chain Chomp, otherwise renamed Chain Bite. He is obsessed with Mario. Brett got his Pokemon cards and I talked Cameron out of his; we do not need a billion plus 2 boxes of cards in our house. I think allowing Adam to lead us around was a mistake because once he had that toy he was done... done, done, done. We had to bribe him with the fried oreos lucky man. We decided we would run ourselves through the art exhibit buildings and have a little more fun on the midway before hitting our traditional Ferris Wheel ride to cap off the trip. I have to say I am an adrenaline junkie. I LOVE LOVE LOVE rides, especially ones that dump you upside down so your bottom doesn't touch the seat. I am going back without kids, yep, I am! I am going to find someone that loves them as much as I do; that and I want a margarita but felt like a bad mom for even thinking about drinking in front of the kids. I'm not a lush, I just love having a drink while looking at funny things and watching a hypnotist make people look like complete morons; it enhances the fun. Changing the subject now......
All in all we had a grand time and the kids were pooped. Too bad we didn't pay attention to where we'd parked so we had to hike around the fields to find our car. I was definitely not at my peak OCD planning yesterday which is good because we had fun just wondering around. We also ate dinner after 8pm, which is a HUGE no no for me but yesterday was the exception to my control. I have to say, I enjoyed letting things go and enjoying the moments. Thank you to everyone that didn't go to the fair! We had a great time not fighting crowds!
We got the little punk situated and went on our way. We figured out on the way there that we had to go to the main entrance. OH That is what we avoid but OK! We sucked it up and hopped the trolley to get our season passes. Went in and started on our way! It was amazingly crowd free for a Saturday. We rode a few rides, used the bathroom a few times, ate lunch, had ice cream, used the bathroom a few more times (my kids have itty bitty bladders). I will post pictures of the events at a later time but the ice cream incident had people walking by laughing. Imagine, if you will, my 5 year old with a chocolate dipped lopsided ice cream cone. He had it EVERYWHERE! The man of the house tried to keep it kept up by eating it but ended up with lots of it on his foot. HAHA, he was making a bigger mess than the 5 year old was. I was laughing so I forgave the strangers for finding it a sight laughable; I think I was giggling too hard to say anything anyways.
We enjoyed our lunch before ice cream too. The boys had pizza. Ok, we are at the fair and you are going to have a meal you eat whenever I am feeling lazy. Lovely! The man and I had Mexican bowls and roasted corn. the bowls were ehhh, but the corn was wonderful as usual. Our favorite snack at the fair is deep fried snickers. We had it for the first time 4 or 5 years ago and will share one every chance we get! It is deep fried yummy goodness. Imagine biting into a doughnut and having chocolate, nuts and caramel all creamy and gooey smothering your mouth. I can't help but drool thinking about it. The boys had deep fried oreos, they shared a serving because, WOW, they were really sweet. We had great lemonade and lots of water. It was SO hot. I believe it got up to 99 degrees; this is fine because it was supposed to be 105 degrees. I'll take 99 any day over that.
Our first attraction, after food and potty, were the dinosaurs! ROAR! Dinosaurs were insanely awesome! Do people still use that word? I am so happy that none of the boys were afraid of the Dino's. We went to Disneyland last year and the dinosaurs kept us from riding the train more than once. My boys are not manly men but maybe this Christmas we'll get to partake in the train a few times! After the Dinosaurs we ran into a giant robot man. I'm not sure what he was called but he was so cool! Ok, another word I'm not people use anymore but forgive my lack of know what's in; three boys keep me busy not having a life. The boys and the man pulled me away from the giant robot and his giant scooter to hit the county exhibits. The boys seem less than interested in them because this year they weren't as good. I'm sure the state of the economy has something to do with it but they were ok. They did get cool bead necklaces from a nice lady at a Solono County exhibit. I didn't notice until too late that they were Casino beads. HAHA, My kids are billboards for a Casino, lovely. I win parent of the year! yay! We really had fun just wandering around. We visited the woods to get Papa his yearly sapling and visit the bugs in the bug building. The boys saw baby cows and pigs. Baby pigs are the cutest pink fatties. I wanted to pick one up and play with his little pink nose. This is about when Adam decided that his reason for going to the fair needed to be addressed. After a few more potty visits we headed over to the commercial building. Can you imagine 2 buildings full of living infomercials? I can because that's what this is. You can get anything from Protek to Egyptian Cotton Sheets. Want a ShamWOW you got it! I wanted a Shamwow but my Adam was on a mission to hit that Japanese Anime booth. He was a commando. We found it and he got his Chain Chomp, otherwise renamed Chain Bite. He is obsessed with Mario. Brett got his Pokemon cards and I talked Cameron out of his; we do not need a billion plus 2 boxes of cards in our house. I think allowing Adam to lead us around was a mistake because once he had that toy he was done... done, done, done. We had to bribe him with the fried oreos lucky man. We decided we would run ourselves through the art exhibit buildings and have a little more fun on the midway before hitting our traditional Ferris Wheel ride to cap off the trip. I have to say I am an adrenaline junkie. I LOVE LOVE LOVE rides, especially ones that dump you upside down so your bottom doesn't touch the seat. I am going back without kids, yep, I am! I am going to find someone that loves them as much as I do; that and I want a margarita but felt like a bad mom for even thinking about drinking in front of the kids. I'm not a lush, I just love having a drink while looking at funny things and watching a hypnotist make people look like complete morons; it enhances the fun. Changing the subject now......
All in all we had a grand time and the kids were pooped. Too bad we didn't pay attention to where we'd parked so we had to hike around the fields to find our car. I was definitely not at my peak OCD planning yesterday which is good because we had fun just wondering around. We also ate dinner after 8pm, which is a HUGE no no for me but yesterday was the exception to my control. I have to say, I enjoyed letting things go and enjoying the moments. Thank you to everyone that didn't go to the fair! We had a great time not fighting crowds!
Friday, July 16, 2010
Making and Keeping Friends
Today we had the pleasure of spending time with LOTS of kiddos and friends. We had brunch because I stayed up WAY too late and well ended up sleeping way too late. That and Brett wanted a grill cheese sandwich; he suggested brunch. The boy knows what he wants. I had my friend Kim over to swim this morning for the first time. We usually have people over to play and once in a while swim but never have I had kids that get along with all of my little ones so well. They do have friends we love to have but there was a certain kinship her kids and mine seemed to share... Well her youngest couldn't decide whether he wanted to stay or leave but when leaving time came upon us he wanted to stay. He was such a doll I would have kept him in a heartbeat. Drew did really well with the other kids here too! He swam for a little while and decided he was done swimming and wanted to scowl at me every time I suggested it. He did not like me at all. I thought it was funny. The kids got a good swim in but again, her youngest didn't want to be there so back home we went. I couldn't even convince him it was ok to stay at the pool with cheeze it's and Capri Suns! Come on... He ate my snacks and proceeded to want to leave. HAHA, I love 3 year olds.
Back at home the kids disappeared upstairs! They played so nicely Kim was worried they were up to no good. In my house, kids can do whatever they want as long as they don't play in the water and stay in the rooms upstairs. Plenty of toys to keep kids busy. I learned about home schooling; very interesting stuff but still not for me! HAHA I am NOT patient enough to teach my own children anything; I like them too much! I admire everyone that does it though. We chat a little and before we knew it 4 hours flew by! I miss them already. I'm sure they'll be back.
After that visit I was tired and hesitant on whether I was going to physically going to make it through the barbecue tonight because it was supposed to be 105 degrees!!!!!!!!!!! OH I really wasn't sure if that was a good idea. I unstuck my butt off the leather in the couch, where it is imprinted and grabbed a bottle of wine from my stash. If nothing else, I knew I would enjoy that wine! Muscardini Tesoro... LOVED IT! I'm not a wino or anything but I do love my wine. The company we enjoyed while drinking it was lovely also.
The kids ended up back in a pool. I am surprised they have not grown fins. Met a couple of new sets of wonderful people who had some knowledge of Autism, which is refreshing. Most people are not aware of what families of children with autism go through. Amazingly enough we never lost conversation and everyone was so warm and inviting; it was like we have always known each other. There were around 11 kids there! They are wonderfully brave people who have been nothing but accepting of my eldest. They have been taking him at least once a week since summer started. I look forward to many more get together with them.
Today, I reunited with a good friend and made new ones I look forward to getting to know better. In life I wish everyone had the opportunities I've had to meet such wonderful, enriching people.
Back at home the kids disappeared upstairs! They played so nicely Kim was worried they were up to no good. In my house, kids can do whatever they want as long as they don't play in the water and stay in the rooms upstairs. Plenty of toys to keep kids busy. I learned about home schooling; very interesting stuff but still not for me! HAHA I am NOT patient enough to teach my own children anything; I like them too much! I admire everyone that does it though. We chat a little and before we knew it 4 hours flew by! I miss them already. I'm sure they'll be back.
After that visit I was tired and hesitant on whether I was going to physically going to make it through the barbecue tonight because it was supposed to be 105 degrees!!!!!!!!!!! OH I really wasn't sure if that was a good idea. I unstuck my butt off the leather in the couch, where it is imprinted and grabbed a bottle of wine from my stash. If nothing else, I knew I would enjoy that wine! Muscardini Tesoro... LOVED IT! I'm not a wino or anything but I do love my wine. The company we enjoyed while drinking it was lovely also.
The kids ended up back in a pool. I am surprised they have not grown fins. Met a couple of new sets of wonderful people who had some knowledge of Autism, which is refreshing. Most people are not aware of what families of children with autism go through. Amazingly enough we never lost conversation and everyone was so warm and inviting; it was like we have always known each other. There were around 11 kids there! They are wonderfully brave people who have been nothing but accepting of my eldest. They have been taking him at least once a week since summer started. I look forward to many more get together with them.
Today, I reunited with a good friend and made new ones I look forward to getting to know better. In life I wish everyone had the opportunities I've had to meet such wonderful, enriching people.
Thursday, July 15, 2010
The Rescue
Ok, so he didn't really do anything to it, he just didn't press esc. He's 8 I'll give him a pass for making me walk upstairs to fix a non-existent problem. By the time I fixed that non-problem I realized I needed to make dinner.
Now I love food but I don't particularly like cooking it. I knew what I needed to do and it wasn't bad so I just made rice and broccoli. The hubby bbq steaks, YUMMO! The kids ate one, maybe 2 parts of their food. Now mind you, Adam is my picky eater, he has been on this eat everything in sight kick. First sign of a problem was his magically reappearing pizza slices about 3 weeks ago. After noticing said slices, I asked how many he had eaten...... uh oh... He started giggling, which is NOT a good sign. He said, "I ate 4 and 5, this is 6." All I could do was sit there with my mouth hanging open. Um yeah, your done. His appetite has been pretty big since then but today was really odd. He sat down, ate a piece of steak then proceeded to eat his broccoli. I couldn't believe my eyes, he usually fights broccoli like it's attacking his insides. Today, that's the only thing he finished. After picking myself up off the floor I noticed Cameron only ate his broccoli and steak. Now I'm thinking, is that rice that bad, I kinda liked it. Brett was Brett and cleaned his plate but Adam eating ONLY the broccoli without us saying a word is unheard of. Let us hope it continues.
I don't know if it was yesterday's meeting with his lead therapist and consultant or just a quirk in his day but they need to come all the time if it's them. Well, they will be here 4 days a week for 2 hours so all the time it is. He was a comedian and listened so well while they were here. I am a little excited but worried because now I know I have to keep my house in decent condition everyday because we will have people here everyday. Yay... Have I mentioned housekeeping isn't my forte? I am definately NOT a domsticated goddess.
Now I love food but I don't particularly like cooking it. I knew what I needed to do and it wasn't bad so I just made rice and broccoli. The hubby bbq steaks, YUMMO! The kids ate one, maybe 2 parts of their food. Now mind you, Adam is my picky eater, he has been on this eat everything in sight kick. First sign of a problem was his magically reappearing pizza slices about 3 weeks ago. After noticing said slices, I asked how many he had eaten...... uh oh... He started giggling, which is NOT a good sign. He said, "I ate 4 and 5, this is 6." All I could do was sit there with my mouth hanging open. Um yeah, your done. His appetite has been pretty big since then but today was really odd. He sat down, ate a piece of steak then proceeded to eat his broccoli. I couldn't believe my eyes, he usually fights broccoli like it's attacking his insides. Today, that's the only thing he finished. After picking myself up off the floor I noticed Cameron only ate his broccoli and steak. Now I'm thinking, is that rice that bad, I kinda liked it. Brett was Brett and cleaned his plate but Adam eating ONLY the broccoli without us saying a word is unheard of. Let us hope it continues.
I don't know if it was yesterday's meeting with his lead therapist and consultant or just a quirk in his day but they need to come all the time if it's them. Well, they will be here 4 days a week for 2 hours so all the time it is. He was a comedian and listened so well while they were here. I am a little excited but worried because now I know I have to keep my house in decent condition everyday because we will have people here everyday. Yay... Have I mentioned housekeeping isn't my forte? I am definately NOT a domsticated goddess.
I'm jumping in!
I can honestly say that I love blogging because I have a crazy life that gives me plenty of stories to share via blogging; well that and my facebook friends would probably appreciate me more if my posts weren't so long!
I have to say that today is like most summer days in our house. I have 3 punks: 11, 8, and 5. We recently added a 4th punk but unfortunately, due to my delicate mental state, he will not be with us too much longer. He, the 2 year old, is special. He is my nephew and he has been with us for over 3 months now. I can count on him to make my life as interesting as possible. He tends to scream like a possessed wild animal quite frequently. By frequently I mean, 5-6 times a day; depending on his mood. I think after the first month of said screaming I decided it wasn't going to work but I am really hard headed and pushed through anyways. Went on for another 2 months and when I broke down crying in front of strangers, I threw in the towel. I GAVE UP! I don't give up at anything but I guess I don't have much choice because I can't go around crying all the time. I'd be the baby in the family and my children would REALLY be raising me. I am out of the baby stage and I really want to be a grown up sometime soon! I figured when my now 5 year old hit school I was FREE..... YES, I was going to finally go back to work and be a grown up!!! I was as excited as my 5 year old on his first day of school. I pictured myself standing at work with my sack lunch waiting for them to open so I could escape my mother label.
Ok, so I can't finish my first post because my 8 year old wants to teach me how to fix a computer he locked up.... Oh I'm sure I'll fill you in on exactly how much of a headache I get while I attempt to mess it up worse than he did.
I have to say that today is like most summer days in our house. I have 3 punks: 11, 8, and 5. We recently added a 4th punk but unfortunately, due to my delicate mental state, he will not be with us too much longer. He, the 2 year old, is special. He is my nephew and he has been with us for over 3 months now. I can count on him to make my life as interesting as possible. He tends to scream like a possessed wild animal quite frequently. By frequently I mean, 5-6 times a day; depending on his mood. I think after the first month of said screaming I decided it wasn't going to work but I am really hard headed and pushed through anyways. Went on for another 2 months and when I broke down crying in front of strangers, I threw in the towel. I GAVE UP! I don't give up at anything but I guess I don't have much choice because I can't go around crying all the time. I'd be the baby in the family and my children would REALLY be raising me. I am out of the baby stage and I really want to be a grown up sometime soon! I figured when my now 5 year old hit school I was FREE..... YES, I was going to finally go back to work and be a grown up!!! I was as excited as my 5 year old on his first day of school. I pictured myself standing at work with my sack lunch waiting for them to open so I could escape my mother label.
Ok, so I can't finish my first post because my 8 year old wants to teach me how to fix a computer he locked up.... Oh I'm sure I'll fill you in on exactly how much of a headache I get while I attempt to mess it up worse than he did.
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