Ok, I didn't really have a fourth child but WOW has the last 4 months made me feel like I had him all his life. We had taken him for visits here and there before he was placed with us and we knew something wasn't right but WOW, I feel like the kid jumped me in a dark alley.
His story-
He is my nephew from my half sister on my mother's side. We kind of grew up together but our childhood was really crappy and growing up together means we stayed in touch over the years. I'll go into that story a little deeper when I have time cry.
Anyways, he is my nephew and was removed from my sister's care at 6 weeks old with his 4 older sisters. I offered to take all the kids when we lived in a larger home but the social worker, who really didn't do her job, told me no. I didn't fight it because frankly I was fairly busy with my own 3 little punks. Over the last year and a half we took the baby a few times for visits and major holidays. He always had a bottle that had a huge hole in the nipple so they could feed him cereal through it. I am NOT the type to feed a baby cereal in a bottle so I endured the screaming that ensued when we attempted to feed him a regular bottle and spoon the cereal. Can you imagine a 9 month old sucking cereal through a hole? I can't and won't stand for it, not in my care.
About 6 months ago I was informed that the kids were all being placed with family and no one had stepped up to take him. I took him after going back and forth a few times.... It is a big decision and my marriage was not at it's finest at that point. I guess this made us get over the small garbage and rethink our priorities. After having numerous people parade through my house we ended up with a fourth boy. I was excited and hopeful we would be able to help him. He was non-verbal at 2 and threw fits like you wouldn't believe. Imagine a possessed pig being branded. I can't explain it, it's disturbing. He threw things and ripped his sheets off his bed. Then the clothes would come off and he peed on our bed.(his crib is at the foot of our bed) It was so many times a day I had to put him in his crib and just close the door. Such a sad baby and I couldn't fix it.... In the last 4 months he has been evaluated and given speech therapy along with Infant Mental Health Therapy. He is slowly making progress and smiles so much more. I worry though, he has made progress then goes through a stage where he has to throw fits. I have spent so much time trying to keep him happy and content but when he is on the rampage, there is no stopping his screaming. I love him but have come to the conclusion I can no longer do it. I am defeated and have to allow him to go to another home that can give him the attention and care I can not give with Adam being part of the picture. I am happy that he has services and I hope he comes out of it in a better place. He is the sweetest little guy and deserves the world. Our worlds just are not meant to be. I have learned that I can't save the world and I have to just stand up for myself. This one little guy has shown me how strong I am and how much is too much. I now know my limits and my limits will be respected by me.
No comments:
Post a Comment